Monday, May 6, 2013

Jesus: Sermon on the Mount - Did I Stutter

Jesus: Sermon on the Mount - Did I Stutter

Jesus: Ok, here's the idea. You love them, like I loved you. Make sure you take care of them and don't judge them. 
Worshiper: But what if they're gay or worship other Gods?
Jesus: Did I f****** stutter?

Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Proverbs 21:13
Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

1 John 3:17-18
But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

Proverbs 28:27
Whoever gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes will get many a curse.

Matthew 25:40
And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

And just try to remember when you are trying to enforce your Bibles writings onto other people that it's not right to pick and choose only the verses you feel like. Enforce them all or none. ;)
Timothy 2:11
I permit no woman to teach or have authority over men; she is to keep silent. 

Deuteronomy 22: 20-21
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.(Non-Virgin women should be stoned to death. And not the good kind of stoned.)

Deuteronomy 23:2
A bitched shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord. (This one means no bastard (fatherless) children may enter the church, his children shall not enter and his children's children and so on...)

Luke 16:18
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. (Divorce and Remarrying Are Both Considered Adultery)

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.(Just looking is adultry hehe)

1 Corinthians 11:5
But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head... (Are Muslim women better Christians than Christian women?)